I am ashamed to
admit that, for someone who prides herself on having all the best words, I haven’t been able to put them together to
give a proper tribute to my Gamaw. I’m like a little kid at the
grocery store who’s been separated from her mother. “What’s
your mommy’s name, kid?” “Mommy.” “And what does she look
like?” “She looks like a Mommy.”
What kind of a
person was your Gamaw?
She was a
Gamaw-person.
 |
| My sister and I looking at Highlights with our Gamaw |
It seemed so
self-evident that it didn’t occur to me that I should maybe be a
little more specific until I was flailing around to explain just who,
exactly, I had lost. I listened closely to the eulogy at her funeral, to find the words that I needed to explain her. Hospitality. Listening. Welcoming. Commitment to her family.
She wasn’t
particularly religious, though she always asked for someone to pray
at mealtimes. She had her own liturgy—restocking the fridge with
Pepsi, the freezer with chocolate and lemon pies, serving the
grandkids biscuits with honey, then wiping the sticky blinds clean
again. Sometimes sundaes—vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and
crushed peanuts. She worked in her garden, read a lot of books, and
painted folksy designs on the furniture she and my Gapaw sold in
their shop. When I was older we—she and I, and later both of us
with David—played a lot of Scrabble.
 |
| I don't know when this picture was taken--it's at their old house, so at least 20 years old. But this is what my Gapaw and Gamaw will always look like in my head, forever and ever. |
Even when she was
too tired for long visits with supper and games and dessert, there
was always the generous listening. I knew it was safe to talk to her,
because I never heard her say anything mean about anyone else, so I
knew the things I said would be treated with respect too. She noticed
when I had put effort into something I was wearing and told me I
looked beautiful.
 |
| Her Highness has my Gamaw's first name. |
Whenever I came to
visit after I’d moved away, she would talk about me coming to see
her and Gapaw as though I were doing them some tremendous favor. And
I would thank her right back, because really, being there felt like she had done me a tremendous favor, too--I felt so very loved. Of course I would be there.
