No U-turn

So, as you’ve probably noticed, lots of state roads were very sensibly planned to take advantage of other roads that had already been built. For awhile you’re driving on State Road 26, then you enter West Lafayette and the signs for 26 are accompanied by signs for State Street, until you cross the river and you’re driving on South Street, and then, way out in the cornfields it’s back to just plain old 26 again. But the whole time you’ve been on the same road.

However, sometimes this very practical arrangement means that occasionally, when Google Maps tells you, say, to stay on State Road 25 for 36 miles, you’ll actually have to jog right or left if you want to stay on that same road. Hopefully the shift is well-marked and at a stoplight. Sometimes it’s not—there’s one in particular in Logansport that David and I used to miss almost every time we drove to Koppys’ house from Lafayette. And when that happens, you’ll be driving along down the same road you had been but growing increasingly uneasy that you’re not going the right way anymore. And finally, you pull up your map app and discover that indeed, the little blue dot that marks your vehicle is no longer traveling down the blue line that indicates your route.

Sigh.

Anyway, I was working on a conference paper the other day when I got that feeling. The “this is not my route anymore” feeling, the “I have the sudden and overwhelming urge to panic and turn around” feeling. Of course, sometimes when you’re driving, you zoom out and discover that you’re not actually that far off from where you need to be. Sometimes panicking and turning around actually wastes more of your time than zooming out a bit (though please—if you’re driving, pull over for this part, or make your passenger do this for you!) and getting a better view of the whole situation. Because sometimes it’s better to keep going the same direction for a bit before you turn.

So what am I doing about that feeling? Zooming out is harder when the space you’re trying to get a better view of includes temporal space. I’m not going to give up on the paper and withdraw it or anything crazy like that on the strength of an uneasy feeling. Especially because the paper in question is my excuse for going to my favorite conference to see some of my favorite people :-) I did send a long and grouchy facebook message complaining about the directionlessness of it all to my friend Kate, who wisely helped me back up and see some pieces of that bigger picture. And now I’ll take a few deep breaths, set the paper down for a bit, and try to see where I’m going.